DEEPAVALI!!!!!!!!

Looks like another year has passed! And Deepavali is here again!! All through my time in college, or actually from the time I was in form 5, I hadn’t celebrated Deepavali. All because those damn exams very specifically designed to clash with Hindu festive seasons. For 5 years I had not celebrated Deepavali. Then I started working. And boy oh boy have I been going crazy for Deepavali. This is gonna be the third Deepavali I will be celebrating while at UP.

I LOVE DEEPAVALI!!! I think it brings out the real Indian in me. I love everything about it! The colours!! The music!! The people!! The food!!! The glorious glorious food!!! How can u possibly say no to mutton vareval!! And idli and chicken curry for breakfast!!! Damn!!!!!! Its freaking awesome!!!!

An ideal Deepavali for me is one which stars early early in the morning. So early that even the bloody rooster is fast asleep. Nice cold shower, get all dressed up, and head to the temple. For years I had been going to the Tannimalai Temple. It’s not just about praying when you go to the temple. It’s about absorbing everything there! The lovely brown people dressed in the colours of ranggoli! Ladies with more gold on them than the Federal Reserve!! The beautiful beautiful young women your eyes keep getting drawn to!! The smell in the air of incense and perfume. Nice cold breeze gentling brushing against your skin. It’s amazing.. Truly truly amazing. The feeling is incomparable.

Then once you’re done with the temple, it’s time to head home for breakfast. Get home, strip down to nothing but boxers, and feast away on an endless supply of idli and chicken curry and coconut chutney!!! aaaahhhHhhHHHhHHhhHHHHh!!!!! Freaking orgasmic!!!! And just when you thought u can’t eat anymore, there comes more idli and chicken!!! HAHAHAHHAHA!!!

Then the whole family retires to the living room upstairs and drops in front of the TV. We become temporarily paralyzed as the idlis gently digest in out enlarged bellies. Our eyes try its best to focus on some random program on TV. Most fall asleep. Some crave for fags. But all too lazy to move an inch. And as our bodies gently start gaining its senses again, we rise up and drag ourselves to the kitchen where it’s time to help mom with the cooking. A whole shitload of cooking. Everything from mutton to prawns! Veges of all sorts! Deserts that most would not have even imagined! And an elephant crapload of rice! Once all is done, we sit around on the dining table and feast away! Large portions of the curries cooked are stored in the fridge to feel hungry souls later on that night. Gently we feel our stomachs bloat up again. Parents crash on their beds for a well deserved afternoon nap. Sister locks herself in her room and knocks out. My brother and I excuse ourselves to go to the shops on the pretext of buying ice cream but instead we light up incredible fags the moment out asses hit the car seat. Once we’re done, we come home and knock out too.

Family wakes us up at about 4.30 in the evening. It’s time to get the house all cleaned up. Dishes washed. Chairs arranged. Food reheated. Sister’s cats thrown in some room. It’s time to prepare for the arrival of our guests. Crates of beer are thrown into huge pails with ice. Half go missing thanks to the lovely sons in the family. Hehe. Decorations are put up. The velake is lit. Scented candles and oil burners are lit. And we wait. All dressed we wait. Then the doorbell rings and we welcome our first guests in. Get the men some beers and the women soft drinks. Then the doorbell rings again. More guests. Then more doorbell rings and more people start coming in. Before we know it, the house is packed! Beer is flowing! People are laughing! Food is everywhere! Everyone is having a gala! Ladies help themselves at dinner first while the men try to act like gentlemen. But in truth, we just wanna drink more! And once the women are done and start nagging their husbands or kids, we dive head first into the large portions of food on out plates.

Somehow it’s magical how Indian food hits the spot after drinking a shitload of beers. It’s an incredible feeling! Before we know it, the night it late and families start bidding their farewells. One by one they leave. The house slowly gets quieter and quieter. Then the sucky part begins. Cleaning up. My brother and I race to get things done. Kitchen is cleaned. Pots and pans and plates are washed. Tables are wiped. Leftover food is packed and placed into the fridge. Lights are switched off and that officially ends Deepavali at home.

But then, the afterparty starts! The family is fast asleep and the sons sneak out. Well we don’t have to sneak out anymore actually. Our parents know we’re old enough to manage ourselves. So they let us free to paint towns red! My brother heads his own way and I head mine. I meet up friends at some random dodgy place somewhere and we start boozing up. The nice thing about these guys is it doesn’t matter where we drink or what we drink. We somehow always manage to have a great time! Once we’re nice and high, we shoot off! Jumping from one club to another. Start slow with a nice Indian club. Nothing beats Indian music to an Indian man when he’s flying! Then to someplace a lil heavier. With thumping loud music. So loud that your heart skips a beat every time the base beats! And we dance our sorrows away! Flirt with every girl we meet! Drink till we can’t drink no more! At about 3 the clubs close.

But Deepavali is yet to be over. My friends who are shitwasted by this time somehow pull themselves together and head home. Me on the other hand, I want more! So I give my brother a call. And knowing him, he’s sitting on the beach somewhere with a bonfire along with a few friends guzzling away on a few bottles of whiskey. I join them. We drink and drink. Light fireworks and brighten the skies above us. Joke about idiotic things and laugh our heads off. And we wait. And wait. I usually knock out for a couple of hours. But they wait. And at the exact moment they wake me up. The sun is about to rise. And my whack brother has this weird need to be in the sea swimming around with a bottle of whiskey in his hands to greet the sun as it rises. The water is freezing cold and we are all down to our boxers. Soaking and floating around. Still drinking. My jaws shiver. My body is numb. And just when I think I can’t take this no more, bliss occurs. Paradise. My savoir arrives. The sun rises and slowly we feel warm rays hitting out ice cold faces. Ahhhh.. No words can describe this feeling. Bliss. Everyone goes quiet as we relish this incredible feeling. For a clean half hour, everyone is in their own world. Their own thoughts. All with faint tiny smiles on their faces. A truly incredible half hour.

After about an hour of warming ourselves up, we pack up and head off. Food first of course. And nothing hits the spot like a lil nasi kandar early in the morning! Once we’re stuffed and still flying high, we drive home and crash on our beds.

Deepavali comes to an end. And incredible incredible end.