smoking..

I never used to smoke before. I mean i wasn't a chain smoker. A random stick here and there.. that was it. I only started smoking after all that she did to me.. That's when i started.. About a box a day now..

But hey.. Don't get me wrong. Its not her fault I'm smoking. Don't think of me as one of those idiotic guys who start smoking simply because they got their hearts broken.. or because they were too depressed.. or because they couldn't handle the stress.. No. I'm not that person. Not at all. I started smoking for a very very very simple reason. Because i stopped caring. I stopped caring about what others would think or say about me. I stopped caring and worrying if I'd get some sort of cancer and die. I don't care if i get a sudden asthmatic attack.. Nope.. I stopped caring. There's no reason why i should care. Not a single one.

My dad smokes. He's been smoking since he was a teenager. I hate him smoking. And I'm trying to do everything in my power to stop him from smoking. I wan him to quit. Pretty hypocritical of me eh.. HAHAHHAHAHA!! But no. I don't want him to smoke anymore. You see its different for me and for him. He's got a beautiful family. He has a lot to live for. He's getting old. His health is his most prized possession. I want him to preserve it! He has a tonne of people who love him dearly. A tonne of people who would miss him terribly if he wasn't here. He has something to live for. Not me.
I love smoking. And as much as you might be tired of hearing smokers say this, I'm not addicted to it. I honestly am not. I don't crave for it when i don't have it. I don't see the need to light up a stick once I'm done with a meal. I don't need it in the morning to wake me up or at night to put me to sleep. I think perfectly fine without it. Its true. I don't need it. But i like it. I enjoy it. It makes me happy. Gets me a little high. Helps me smile. And i do love to smile. It helps me socialize. My job requires me to mingle with a lot of people. Lots of bloody office politics to tackle. And believe it or not, smoking actually helps you 'click' with people. Somehow smoking with a random dude outside the office doors kinda bonds you. Weird huh.. HAHHAHA!!!
But.. I'm gonna continue smoking. Until i find a reason to stop. Until I start caring. Or.. until taxes are so high that a box of sticks cost a bomb :D

Childish Adults..

I can't begin to describe how annoying it is to have adults act like such spoiled stubborn annoying thick headed children!! It gets on my nerves!! It drives me insane!! I cant stand it!! I mean i know how everyone says that the older you get, the younger you act.. I agree with that.. But still, how the hell can you be this childish??!!!
Today morning i had 2 of my supervisors arguing over such a dumb dumb dumb matter.. Try imagining this, 2 grown adults approximately 55 years old arguing over which was the better way to cover up a small little insignificant bloody hole in a bloody wall!! WAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING???!!! I mean what was going on in those aged little heads of theirs??? Fine.. Fine.. Maybe they saw no other way to settle this but to challenge the amplitude of each other's voices.. Fine.. Maybe.. I can accept that.. But you do it in front of about 30 general workers??? 30 little minds who look up to you as their gods?? 30 little heads who report directly to you with utmost respect?? COME ON!! Where the hell did your mentality run off to??!! Got hitched and ran away with your sensibility???!!
Things like these really makes me think.. Makes me think of how different I am.. Of how differently i think.. I hate to say it, but things like these make me feel like I'm alone in this world filled with idiots who simply cannot tune into the frequency of the incredible universe!! Why cant they reason things out?? Why cant they look at the bigger picture?? Why the hell cant they simply take a second off to use that smoke-dried nicotine-addicted dried-up aged brains of theirs to reason things out like the civilized adults they claim to be??!!! WHY???!!!

bloody hell.. I've gotta start meditating

The King I once thought I'd be??

Two packs of spicy exotically delicious nasi lemak, half a dozen ayamas nuggets fried to golden perfection, the largest mug filled with the thickest ever preparation of smooth creamy milky rich milo, and to finish it all off, an incredible stick of heavenly dunhill... Aaaahhhhh.. now what else could a hard working young adult ask for breakfast..
But if that wasn't tough enough to decide on, i now gotta start planning for lunch!! you see, my job was a gift from the well-pleased Gods to me.. I'm blessed with an hour break for breakfast, and an hour and a half for lunch.. i start work at 6.30.. sucks.. but i love it.. and my first break is at ten.. then back to work at 11 and break again at 2.30.. So that gives me approximately 3.5 hours to decide on each meal.. and oh trust me, with a mind like mine, i tend to have the wildest, most unhealthiest, delicious-est (i think that's a word.. if its not, then it should be!!) meals!! oh yeah.. and i end work at about 4.30.. so if u were doing the math, thats about 7.5 hours of work each day.. not bad eh..
I wear shorts to work, ride on a company motorbike, sit my ass in a huge office where i do nothing but surf the internet which i leach off for free, get called Tuan and Sir by about 600 workers, live in an incredible 3 bedroom 3 bathroom bungalow with about 3 acres of land called 'my garden', and of course i get paid.. about 36.8k per year.. not bad for a 22 year old huh.. So, am i the king i once thought i'd be?? Well not yet.. Not just yet.. There's lots more i need to achieve.. Lots more I need to prove.. The day every tom, dick and mustafa has heard of my name will be the day i call myself a king.